Sunday, November 11, 2012

Just Waiting....

still waiting....waiting for our little guy to come home.  I can honestly say two things....1. we have waited longer for him than time left to bring him home and 2. this blog is in some serious neglect.

I have updated our other blog and look forward to the day I have many exciting things to write about (and no time or energy to do so!) You can check it out at Building Blocks to Forever if you want an update on our adoption news.

I changed jobs and am enjoying my new team and my class.  13 of the little boogers are kids who were in my class last year.  I am currently taking a break from report cards and I must say I feel like I know my kids so well.  Love this looping thing and wouldn't mind doing again...if it meant I could stay in my classroom.

I definitely feel detached from this community in some ways.....funny how there are so many things to write about when you are knee deep in a IVF cycle.  Now, I feel like I have nothing to write home about.  I guess its okay.

But then there are nights like tonight when I just feel, well...sorry for myself.  And I have a limited audience for these types of moans and groans.  So I will just type them here to get them off my chest.  I am trying so hard to move past this, but something pops up unexpectedly and it just gets my mind moving, just when I think I am doing great.  On Wednesday, one of my teammates announced her pregnancy.  As happy as everyone was (including me!) I will tell  you I came home and cried (just a little) to Hubby.  You see, she began trying for her first just after we started trying all those years ago.  Her son turned 4 last spring and it's hard for me to not immediately do the math. Yikes.

And then (oh blasted FB) my old (ex?)-friend that I blogged so many times about announced her pregnancy.  How did I see it? Because I am still "friends" with her boyfriend....and trust me I have thought about deleting him, but don't really want to go there.  I already have him blocked on my things.....but it's hard with the stupid FB feed telling you what your friends have commented on and we share a small handful of the same friends...blah.  enough.  But I am telling you know, if our son comes home around the same time her shower is and my works wants to do both....I will be the first one to tell them they can wait.  I'll have a valid excuse with adoption (don't know how showers work with that) and I'm part of the sunshine committee!! Funny thing....I still feel sad that I won't be able to tell her anything congrats wise.  That element of truthfulness and trust flew out the window a long time ago...she barely talks to me at school even when I try.  I can tell I'm bitter still but mostly sad.  About a lot of things.  I don't know why my mind bothers.....but gah it's hard. :0/

I have just been really busy and am enjoying life right now.  Work is so much less stressful with my new team and I am re-adjusting to teaching first grade again.  I'm super excited to start all the nursery room stuff.  Actually more than excited......ecstatic!! I wrote a post about it on the adoption blog.....but I just can't wait to start putting it all together.  Probably in the next few weeks or a month....Hubby has to finish with the stores and then we can start with it all.  And I have to do is survive the next week and a half of conferences!

Last year we had our Friendsgiving....totally wanted to do it again this year.  Maybe we still can....but after Thanksgiving....I've been too busy.  Or maybe I can pull it together this weekend...we shall see!

hugs to you all!