Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Our rainy, fall weather is here and although I am not sure how long it will last, it kinda matches my mood right now. Kind of ho hum and cold. Maybe it will be sunny again next week.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
I am just okay right now. The last few days have been rough and some moments are better than others. I swear there are a million babies and why is it they stick out more when you are hurting?!
I was asked twice on Friday by strangers if I had kids. Wtf? I cried the second time. I cried going to get my sweet niece from her nap. Everything feels sad and hard to swallow. I've cried too much these past few days and slept more.
Thank you for your comments. I so appreciate your care and support. I feel better knowing I have you to share this with. Thank you.
I have been fearing this miscarriage. I have no idea what to expect and I think it's beginning. I've been spotting off and on since Friday but with old blood. This afternoon I began spotting with some red blood and nastiness when I wipe. (sorry!) I really don't want to go to work but I have used up so many of my personal days already. I have lesson plans set so I can call in if need be. One downside of teaching-you just can't call in...sub plans/prep must be done. Sometimes it's easier just to go in.
I really wish Hubby was around more. Go figure it's his busy time. I feel like we haven't had time to really talk. It makes me feel bad and sad. Last night was rough. Maybe this week. He says we'll get through this. I know we will, it will just take time.
Remembering my necklace...I can do hard things.