Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A late Happy ICLW week....

I have had an insane past few days.  School is absolutely nuts with Open House (tomorrow night), assessments and retention hearings and meetings.  Parents who are difficult and not making good choices for their children's education....grr! I am going nuts!  This is the first time I have been able to get on here on my pc and I wish I could have been a more active participant in ICLW.  Ah, time!

To add to the craziness, I had a interesting and busy weekend.  Hubby and I decided we should indeed go the Pre Adopt class all day Saturday.  Luckily they let us join and we attended all day on Saturday.  I'm not admitting defeat on our upcoming FET but I do want to be prepared.  There is a lot to do and I want to take advantage of my time off this summer.  I'm still trying to think of the finances in my head so once I decide there we will proceed.  I just know I will be upset with myself if we didn't start any of this and are disappointed with our transfers.  This has been a tricky decision.  I am excited and my hubby is too. As a friend of mine who adopted said the nice thing about adoption is that everything you do, puts you one step closer to your child.  This is true.

After the class, we watched my two lovely nieces so my sister and her hubby could escape to Napa for the rest of the weekend.  Everything went great and we had lots of fun.  We see my nieces all the time, so it's actually no biggie to spend the weekend with them sans mommy and daddy. 

I am exhausted and drained.  Lupr.on shots are going well and I am being brave with the needles.  After the first one, these aren't so bad since they are so tiny!  I am super bloated and I swear I have gained more weight.  I had a huge breakdown earlier when I tried on my dress I was planning on wearing to open house and it doesn't fit.  I have hooker boobs right now (hah!) and am feeling/looking very puffy around my stomach.  Nothing I think is open house "appropriate" fits and the stuff that does I really don't want to wear.  Pants..too tight and most of my skirts. Ugh.

I am off to bed. I have a 7:40 meeting with a parent tomorrow.  I'm gonna look through some of your lovely blogs tomorrow after the madness of open house.  Goodnight!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

And so it begins

I hate, hate, hate needles.  Even ridiculously small needles with tiny amounts of meds.  I began my Lu.pron injections tonight.  It's been so long since my last injections I knew I was going to have a hard time.  23 minutes later or so it was done...along with half a box of tissue.  I am the world's biggest wimp. Truly.  And I made my hubby late for his hockey game...ooops. I should be loving this one because I will have a cow once the PIO begins. 

I have a necklace that says "I can do hard things" and I am trying to remember this right now.  I bought it from The r house couture but can't seem to find a picture anymore. I wear it everyday and love it.

Today was a double baby shower at work for the two teachers. One due next month and the other (my team member) due in September. They had a different activity...writing messages on baby diapers...kinda cute.

Monday, May 16, 2011


I got a shock this morning.  I found out we have 5 embryos not 3.  Huge, huge difference.  I can't understand how I could have forgotten this!! I know I don't remember much from our meeting but I still am surprised I focused on 3 and not 5.  Maybe I was thinking about it since we transferred on day 3.  I don't know, but either way not only am I psyched for another chance but I feel a huge sense of relief.  Truly, I feel like 100 bricks have been lifted off my back.

My u/s went fine...everything looks good so far.  And..our meds all came today and everything is A-okay.  Things might just be looking up!!

It's been a little rough around here...

.....I'm just gonna get point in doing it any other way.  :0/

I don't know if I have mentioned the hardest pregnancy for me so far? My BIL and his wife.  Last year at their wedding I found out our latest and greatest IUI failed with the arrival of AF days before my scheduled beta.  What a miserable weekend for me...Valentine's Day.  Trying to be positive around family who apparently already knew what was going on (even though I didn't want them to).  Then a few short weeks later comes their announcement...they're gonna be parents.  WTF? They conceived sometime during the week of their wedding....I don't really care if it was before or not.  So my most bitter feelings came out with their greatest joy.  Bitter because in the face of all my sadness that weekend they had something work out.  Needless to say their daughter was born in December, my in-laws first grandbaby.  Did I mention they had been dating for just over a year before getting engaged? yeah...bitter.  And my dear BIL drives me bonkers.....thank god they live in Colorado because I wouldn't be able to deal.  At least I have a very valid excuse to not see them.

So here comes some grand news Thursday evening.....BIL texted my hubby to tell him...wait............wait..........oh! they are expecting their second!  OMG!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!! you just had a baby in December....really?!  And then I get even meaner.....were they trying to conceive around the same time as their first? I mean how cute.  I can't wait to find out the due date so I can count weeks. (Why would I do this to myself?? I don't know....I must be a glutton for punishment.) ugh. so frustrating.  So now I get to see more ultrasound pictures added to the granddaughter shrine at the in-laws.  I know I have said before they are perfectly must be that jealous twinge wishing I could give them a super joy like they did.  Finally asked my hubby to email his mom to take me off the family announcement emails.  I just can't handle it right now.

moving on.........

My best gals take me out on Friday.  It was fun...went to a new restaurant in town.  Do you remember the friend I have talked about before who I/we have been having major issues with over our crumbling friendships?  I truly feel that we have been slowly but surely making some progress to becoming more like normal.  It is so awkward at school, but I can tell my friend has been trying and so have I.  I have even been eating in the staff room for the past few weeks and I haven't been the whole year.

We get home from dinner to find a USPS sticky on our door. The company didn't change the delivery date in the computer from Friday to Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!  They will try delivering again on Monday. Ugh....I have refrigerated meds in there people that I need to start next week!  I called the med company and we haven't heard back.  Guess it's not an emergency according to them.  So I will be calling them tomorrow as soon as I am done at the clinic.

Now, for the record since rejoining the cursed FB a few weeks ago, I really haven't done much posting.  On Saturday we were celebrating my friend's birthday (which my bday friend did not want her to come to...bars and walking..nothing she wants to do right now) and we all get this message during lunch:

Subject: just being real
So clearly, pregnant me is not the person you ladies want to hang out with, I get it. You do realize we are friends on FB so your statuses and posts to each other are always in my news feed? I'm not saying don't post. I'm not saying you should even have to invite me. But what I am trying to say is that it hurts and one day when you are pregnant, I hope your friends won't do this to you. And when that time comes, and you feel awful, and tired, and emotional, and a million other things, you'll realize why I'm not quite the same person I was before. And you'll realize how much more you need your friends. It' just too bad I pretty much lost the 3 people I thought were my best friends.
I'm not expecting my sharing this to change things, but I had to get it off my chest. It is what it is. Life changes, people change, and you have to move on. 

 So as far as I am concerned she was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG in sending this! Especially since I feel like I didn't do any of that AND how insensitive of her!  She blames me for not having this friendship with the other two because of my reaction to her pregnancy.  That isn't going to help.  I haven't responded. If I hadn't been out I would have burst into tears.  Talking about it tonight over dinner with my hubby brought me to tears more than once.  What a snot bitch!

I don't even know what to say.  I'm sorry you're pregnant and hormonal? I am too but it's for a different reason.  deep sigh. help!

At breakfast this morning I heard the pregnant ladies response to her friend's question of "don't you just love being pregnant?"...."no!" she says.  Poop on you lady. 

Tomorrow morning is my first of three LW and u/s for our upcoming transfer.  I must say I am excited and nervous.  If I can survive the next few weeks I will be so thankful.

Let's end on a happier note...look what amazing hubby did for my classroom.
  We are learning about tropical rainforests.

I only wish I could be there in the morning to see their faces! :0(

Concrete tube forms - $18
Green butcher paper - $8
A dozen recycled paper bags - free
3 1/2 hours husband labor - free
Seeing the look on 21 kindergarten faces Monday morning- priceless! :o)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Life and my first award!

Thanks to Summastarlet and to lostintranslation for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award.  I promise to do my job when I have some time to breathe. Thank you!

I am being swallowed up by the end of the year school stuff (always busy) and my overwhelming emotions for our upcoming FET.  The last two weeks have been crazy to say the least.  I went from thinking our FET was going to have to be rescheduled to a surprise visit from AF (yeah!!), being completely thrown under the bus and felt like a fool in a meeting by my principal, my great Aunty's funeral and starting BCPs (which are making me feel like a giant crab) and some pissy parents in my class.  Maybe it's just me, but I have a few who are driving me nuts.  I am getting really anxious and I am exhausted.  I haven't been on here much and am finding I am missing some of your news!

Our first LW and u/s is this coming Monday.  I'm excited to see our Dr. again and see what he has to say.  I seriously can't remember much from our last meeting after our first failed IVF.  I'm taking the whole day and going back into my classroom to assess kids per my principal.  At least she's understanding of our situation.

Our meds are being shipped to us on Monday and I was pleasantly surprised to hear the total cost....just under $600.  I'll take it.  I am so thankful we had embryos to freeze, I just hope they make it out okay.

Off to bed. Goodnight!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

A little update...'s a go!!! I can't believe it! So as of now we are planning for our FET on June 20th.  I am super excited and hopeful.  This could be it!! Missed the nurse again (who leaves at 3:45 everyday) so I will try calling Friday since she has an injection class she is teaching tomorrow.  Began BCPs this evening.

Looking at my calendar, I will only have to miss part of three days of school.  Unfortunately, the 3rd lab and US is on the LAST day of school.  I feel like I can't miss that.....but obviously will.  I think I can make it back in time. That would be sad to miss them on the last day of school.

Crazy how things can work out....I'm gonna cross my fingers and keep counting my lucky stars!!


I can't believe this but I started my period this afternoon and I don't know if I have ever been so happy about it!!  So my body is so screwed up (this I already knew) but I wasn't expecting AF for another week at least.
My nurse had said I would have had to start by Tuesday so I am not sure if it's too late or not!!!  Of course she was already gone for the day by the time I came home and double checked I was really starting (yup!) so I sent her an email and will anxiously await her reply.

If we can do our transfer in June I would be so thrilled.  I really don't want to push it back any further.  I am crossing fingers and toes tonight.