Friday, March 25, 2011

What am I doing here?

I am infertile.  My husband says I'm not (since I can produce eggs), but my doctor says I have unexplained infertility.  After one and a half years of trying on our own and with another year and a half of infertility treatments (5 IUIs and 1 IVF) we are still in the same boat.  I want to be like Cinderella, hence the name of this blog.  I want to waltz into a ballroom and feel beautiful and wear glass slippers. I wonder if Cinderella even thought about the possibility of a crack or a chip? I worry about everything, probably way too much and because of that am often stressed out.  With the past few years lurking behind me, I have felt like a horrible, rotten person....incapable of feeling genuine happiness for friends and family who are lucky enough to have baby celebrations.  I have read over lots of blogs and I think I have cried tears (of relief!) each time because someone out there has felt the same way I have.  Maybe in some way, I am normal after all.  I'm not a monster or a bad friend just infertile.  So this is my goal, to give myself a release....a telling and a venting place. My old journal sits abandoned in my seems too sad to continue there.  I want to tell a fairy tale with a happy ending. Maybe this will be it.

1 comment:

  1. Welcome! Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the kind words! I hope that you find as much encouragement and support here as I have. This is an awesome community. I too find it ironic how many teachers I have seen on here. Good luck and I'll follow your journey and hope for the best for you!