Friday, March 25, 2011
What am I doing here?
I am infertile. My husband says I'm not (since I can produce eggs), but my doctor says I have unexplained infertility. After one and a half years of trying on our own and with another year and a half of infertility treatments (5 IUIs and 1 IVF) we are still in the same boat. I want to be like Cinderella, hence the name of this blog. I want to waltz into a ballroom and feel beautiful and wear glass slippers. I wonder if Cinderella even thought about the possibility of a crack or a chip? I worry about everything, probably way too much and because of that am often stressed out. With the past few years lurking behind me, I have felt like a horrible, rotten person....incapable of feeling genuine happiness for friends and family who are lucky enough to have baby celebrations. I have read over lots of blogs and I think I have cried tears (of relief!) each time because someone out there has felt the same way I have. Maybe in some way, I am normal after all. I'm not a monster or a bad friend just infertile. So this is my goal, to give myself a release....a telling and a venting place. My old journal sits abandoned in my drawer...it seems too sad to continue there. I want to tell a fairy tale with a happy ending. Maybe this will be it.