A hard 24 hours

I have found a bit of a sad spot. I cried myself to sleep last night.  I am blaming it on the imminent arrival of AF, not feeling the best and stress from work.  And even though I'm not counting weeks I still am very aware or what could have been and what could have been going on.  I have two girlfriends that are pregnant and one found out last month she's having a boy and the other finds out this week if I remember right. She is the one that was just ahead of us. I can't wait to hear what she is having and how she is doing.  I miss her and wish I could rub her belly....it doesn't help she moved to Idaho and I haven't seen her in ages!!!! 

Today I attended the baby shower of yet another pregnant teacher at school.  Even though I haven't felt like going to any of the "recent" showers at school, I have gone to every single one because I felt like I should go. Today I may have changed my mind for the time being.  I fought hard to keep the tears from pouring out (more than once and even had to wipe them out at one point so they wouldn't stream). I think our librarian noticed. She randomly started talking to me about our upcoming vacation.  Thank god for her and the call numbers to stare at. Unfortunately that only lasted a few minutes. I can't explain how I felt today. I have been thinking about it all evening and I think, perhaps, that even with the sometimes tough emotions of previous baby showers, I have not been to one where it feels out of my league.  I know this isn't "true" but today I sure felt it.

One and half more days...I can do it!  And then I can focus on our adoption paperwork. I have an essay to write! Took my insurance paper to the district office today (she'll have it tomorrow) and even talked to our lady about leave.  Got some great ideas to work on over the next year regarding subs and long term sub plans.  That lady is so sweet and patient and has already helped us out so much.

Off to make my kids their "non-Christmas" presents. Hehe...it's a two night process. I make the same thing every year and love them.

I'll end with a kidism....the other day we had our first rainy day lunch recess which equals a movie. I grabbed Frosty the Snowman since it's fitting right?? Well it's a VHS and apparently not only was it not rewound (shocker!) but my VCR is dying. It took forever to rewind and I kept stopping it expecting it to be at the end. After the third try one of my kids tells me "Mrs. __, you should get On Demand...it always works!" hehehe