A Better Mind...

I woke up super early this morning (with the help of my cat and AF) and have decided I have got to make an attempt to change this cruddy mood of mine.  Yesterday was absolutely the worse day yet and I am thinking if it doesn't get worse than that...I might just pull out of this.  I ended up going to the bbq although my hubby left me crying because of a comment he had made... I didn't want to stay home alone but was NOT in the mood to visit and act like everything was ok.  But we stopped at the store for my favorite 6 pack of Stella and I'm sure it helped out a bit~and don't worry I shared.  By the end of the night I was glad I went but felt unsure of my in-laws reaction to my mood.  I know they both noticed but I wasn't about to pretend I was feeling hunky dory either. Not my best 4th but so it goes.

After Wednesday's news I was pretty gung ho about moving forward with our adoption plans.  We did our fingerprinting and began our family description. I answered all of my questions and ended up with a four page document.  Hubby is still working on his and I need to go back and re-edit mine.  Next step: turn in contract, family description and family brief (mostly done) and $2500! yikes.  This is where I need to take a deep breath as it's only the beginning.  I think about the money and how much another FET would run.  Base cost is just over $3000 not including meds. So at this point we're still looking at pursuing our international adoption from Korea (which I am very excited and nervous about) and I (can't speak for Hubby) am still thinking about our last FET.  I suppose I should ring over to the RE and set up our WTF appointment. Maybe that will give me some more peace.  Hubby and I still haven't talked over it all yet.  Maybe now that's its been a few days we can.  I felt pretty alone this weekend and after saying that as we went to bed last night, he said he was just trying to give me space.  I obviously misinterpreted his intentions.

Today's goals and happenings:

1. eat something....I'm hungry!
2. call over to RE
3. take our BIL's brother to the airport-always a fun visit!
4. stop at the hardware store..we started the patio this weekend..no plants yet, so today's the day to start!
5. go to dr appt with PCP...discovered some swollen lymph nodes in my groin yesterday....Has anyone else had this after FET? I'm hoping my hubby is right....my body is just reacting to the (lack of!) meds.
6. dinner with one of my besties and her hubby (she's been in Mexico so I just told her yesterday what happened)
7. make today better than yesterday :0)