So Thankful..

I am so thankful for my new class of kindergartners.  Not only do I feel loved by several of them already (added bonus!) but I think it's gonna be a pretty good year.  I am mostly thankful for the huge distraction they have already given me. The amount of time I have during my day to focus on what is or isn't going on in my body is significantly less than last time.  Oh and I now have 15 boys and 9 girls, but the little guy who was added is awfully sweet..yay! The only downer of yesterday was I (almost) ate shit in my classroom in front of all my parents....slipped on something but didn't fall. Phew.....but I have a nasty bruise on my arm.  I didn't even know it was there til last night! But if that's the worst...I'm okay with that!

As for the waiting game this TWW....I wish I had a better idea of what to look for symptom wise.  I know so many feelings can just be the meds but I am trying not to dwell on anything.  I felt AF crampy over the weekend which hasn't happened before but who knows.  I have eaten more but that is a side effect from my Pred so we shall see.  My feet and hands have been really hot too....I have no idea what that's about.  I want these to be symptoms!!  I feel silly even typing this since that means that I have obviously been thinking about it.  I think it's me just being really hopeful still.

I am debating with myself on whether or not to POAS but I have a feeling I won't.  I just don't think I can handle it....but I so want to know if it worked. I want to have that feeling of seeing 2 lines....how exciting!! I feel like I was so, so much more calm this time and we did that hysteroscopy and he removed those 2 (even if they were itty) polyps...maybe that was it??! Maybe the predni.sone will help my body not reject them embryos and maybe at least one of them will decide to stick around. I have gone to acupuncture and I have taken herbs and eaten more than my fair share of soup and pineapple these past few days. I hope all of these things combined just might make a difference for us.

Hubby's stores open up on Friday.  Maybe my next post will be about his work.  He won't be home for another hour or so.  So I am off to chill with my dogs for a bit.  Poor things are so used to someone being around off and on throughout the day....now they are alone all day til  I get home which wasn't til after 6 today! Hope your week is going well.

Back to School

This is going to be uber short as it is 11:20 and I still have two things to finish up for school tomorrow.  I had a great weekend and I hope you all did too.  Relaxed (a ton!) and enjoyed a Sunday with Hubby because he got a day off!! Probably his last one as the stores open up on Friday.  Spent a part of today in the classroom and enjoyed a yummy Cheese.cake Fact.ory dinner with one of my best gals. yum.

I made a big pot of chicken, mushroom and wild rice soup this morning which will be my lunch the next few days at school. At least it makes it easy!! It wasn't too bad either. =0)

Hoping tomorrow goes well, it will be my 7th year of teaching. Wow! I am always nervous for the first day of school. 

And the Waiting Begins....PUPO!

Thanks again for all your lovely comments....it really means a lot to know there are some extra gals rooting for us out there in this world. I really feel like we can use all the good thoughts out there!! <3!!

The transfer went really well.  All three of the embryos made it out of freeze and better than last time. Two made it through to 90% and one made it all the way to 95%. All three were 5BB.  I'll take it!!! I have a pic of the three of them but for some reason my phone won't let it email it to myself.  One was already hatching....maybe that will be the one! And hopefully another will join in....come on little ones!!  I completely forgot to not pee before I left for acupuncture and pounded a bunch of water in the car on the way there and then to the clinic.  I was worried it wasn't going to be full enough. However, just like last time I had to empty my bladder two times before it was at the right level.  During which I remembered again (while getting in and out of stirrups two times with lab personnel, my dr. and two nurses standing around) how un-private this getting pregnant business really is.....  

I had a good silent cry during transfer and afterwards when everyone left the room I just let it out for a minute.  This is it and I can't help but think that and hope that everything works out for the best.  The nurses were so sweet and offered me tissues when I came out. sigh. We talked about the usual what not to dos, signed papers and that was that. My doctor wished us all the best and said again that "he hopes we're looking at a baby the next time he sees us."

My pre and post acupuncture were great.  For the pre session one of the ladies met us there early since the clinic doesn't open til 1:30 on Thursdays. It was great...she had the room nice and warm and placed my needles and set another lamp over my belly to help my uterus stay toasty.  Post session went great too, I think I fell asleep during both.  I am hoping this all works out because if it does I get to continue acupuncture! If not I think I am going to miss it. I really wish I hadn't been such a chicken before to try it....but you know how I feel about needles.  Well, I laugh now because I love it so much. So relaxing. ahhhh.

Here is what I have decided about the herbs and pineapple.  I talked to my RE and he said he doesn't recommend herbs during fresh IVF due to increased bleeding during retrieval but since we did a FET he would leave it up to me. He said if there was anything super helpful they would know about it and use it with all their patients. Which is kinda like the answer he had given to me before about acupuncture when I asked about it's effectiveness with IF.  So I have decided to take them since I figure it can't hurt and I am going to put some faith in my acupuncturist since they have apparently had success with it.  As for the pineapple, if a little a day is all that was recommended I can do that for five days. I am sure there have been lots of people eating pineapple who have stayed pregnant. So I have eaten three small triangles a day so far.  At this point I am desperate to do anything that could possibly help, but my worries have been eased about the herbs and the pineapple is really small. So here we go.  And I am eating chicken soup too. Tomorrow I plan on making some homemade stuff since it didn't happen Thursday.

Yesterday I came home and passed out for a few hours and lounged and watched "Big" with hubby at night. I have never seen it...but thought it was funny because the kid that plays the kid is one of the characters from "Newsies",  David Moscow.  "Newsies" is one of my all time favorite movies. Today I spent relaxing and getting periodic updates from my gal at work since our class lists were adjusted and then went back to normal. My mom and grandma came up to visit and it was great because I really was glad to have company. I worked a bit of school stuff and plan to finish labeling name things tomorrow. Sunday I will go in to my classroom for final touches so I am all ready for Monday.

One more thing...beta.  I was assuming we would be testing 9 days past transfer like last time. But since it's labor day weekend we have to wait til day 12!!!!!!!!!!! So beta will be Tuesday, September 6th.

Off to read and comment on some more of your blogs.  I wish my phone made for easier commenting. hugs...have a great weekend!!

One More Sleep til Transfer

I really don't know how I made it here in such a "whole" piece.  I have said over and over that I have felt remarkably calm this past month or so.  I have no clear view as to why but I can guess and make assumptions.  All I know is I feel great and (mostly) calm and just a little bit anxious.  I am going to keep trying to take it one day at a time and not focus on anything but that.  Because truly, there is not much more I can do but try to RELAX! I am crossing all my fingers and toes that all 3 embryos survive the thaw and then make a happy home inside me! I'm ready!!

I became overwhelmed at school today and started tearing up but it was mainly because I was sitting across from a very pregnant team member and the start of school looming over me was just too much!!  Lots of projects and prep, but luckily I have an amazing team and they will help me get through this next week.  I will be going in on Sunday for a bit but I fully plan on spending the majority of the next three days on my butt.  I am taking advantage of my last "long" weekend to help these little ones settle in.  In a way, I am thankful I won't have to escape to DL to get away from my head like last time.  All I have to do is go to work and get to know my 24 new kiddos next week!

Today I had an abdominal massage at my acupuncture clinic....for an hour!!! Not only was I a) very surprised it was so long but b) the gal that did it was super nice.  Not that it felt great the whole time but I am hopeful it gets the blood flowing where it needs to flow!! Tomorrow I will go in for pre and post transfer sessions and then once more on Saturday.  I also am taking a mix of herbs beginning tonight to help with implantation.  This is probably bad but I didn't ask my RE about it. *grimaces*  Remember he's not big on acupuncture.  The herbs can't hurt right?? I meant to call my nurse but today's busyness led to a forgetful mind.  Now here I ask for some advice from you.....my acupuncturist wants me to eat chicken soup and fresh (non-chilled) pineapple for the three days after transfer.  I am fine about the chicken soup...I looked up some yummy recipes and I love soup. No biggie. I'm happy to help my little ones settle in and I will do anything at this point to help them stick.  I have heard mixed things about the pineapple.  I was just told to eat it, not the core just the fruit part.  Do any of you know about this? I have read online there is a chemical that helps with implantation and I have read it can cause miscarriages (but I think those were talking about drinking pineapple juice).


In the back of my mind I can hear the little voices whispering and talking behind my back. They are starting to become louder. I think they are sharing bad secrets and I am afraid of overhearing what they are saying.  Please negativity go away. I have tried so very hard (and succeeded) to keep you away for so long this time.  Please don't let my fears take over.

I have found this quote multiple times and I have read it repeatedly.  It gives me hope. 

When the World says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." ~Author Unknown

Please let this be my turn.  This is our last and final go at IF treatments. Please let this work. Please. Please. Please. Please.

Transfer is at noon tomorrow.  This is it!!!!!!! Here we go!!!!!!!!!!

Virtual Hugger

Thanks to Waiting & Wishing  for passing along the Virtual Hugger award!! I realized I never did follow up with the other two awards I received when just starting this blog. oopps! So, I will graciously follow instructions and send it on!!  I must say when I started this blog I wasn't really sure what would happen.  Then I have connected with you and I feel like I have a bunch of ladies who have my poor PIO stabbed back!!  Your support and thoughts have really made my day(s) a whole lot brighter!!

I love receiving and reading your comments because:

1. I love the support of this community!! I am feeling like I am getting to know all of you and your stories. 
2. Your comments really do brighten my day....even little ones!
3. It has truly made the past few months of our IF roller coaster much more bearable. It helps to know there are other people like me out there going through the same muck pile.

Here is what you can do (if you so desire...!):

1. Thank the person who gave it to you, and link back.

2. Give three reasons why you LOVE comments.

3. Award your top ten commenters, and let them know about it.

And here are my top commenters:

Chickenpig @ Better Full Than Empty

Lora @ Everyday is a Winding Road
TurtleMama @ Tortoise Baby
Cori @ Just Us
 Sooz@ The Birds and the Bees
E @Dreaming of Babies
Maria @MISSION:Fertile Soul
Annoyed Army Wife @The Annoyed Army Wife

Kristen @ Buck Up Buttercup
Krista@Diary of Taking Small Steps

4 More Days til FET #2!!!!

I can't believe the week is already here.  I can't believe how well these stinking PIO shots are going (three times a charm....no allergic reactions yet!!phew!).  I am still having a hard time believing I still feel remotely calm, I am starting to have more thoughts but I am still very hopeful.  I have been keeping busy (as usual) and this morning I have already done a bunch of things....(looked at blogs, email, FB, ate breakfast, walked dogs, took my twin to her Bar.t train, got gas/car wash, and printed signs for my classroom).  It's only ten and I have only been up since 7.

I have three days to really finish up my room.  It is pretty much "done" meaning all I have to do is get names on things which I refuse to do until our lists are more final. I have never been this far ahead and it actually feels really, really good.  Having a FET on Thursday is a great motivator to get it all done.  I will most likely go in for a bit on Sunday but I am fully planning on vegging and resting as much as possible Thursday through Saturday.

I have another acupuncture appointment today with the Dr I really liked. I am looking forward to it.
Well, off to the bank and school.  I think I will go get a new garbage disposal this afternoon instead of the morning..anxious to head in to the classroom.  Happy Monday all!

Here we go...

Today began day 1 of Endom.etrin and PIO (in sesame oil)....crossing my fingers for no allergic reactions this time.  Funny enough when it came time for my injection I actually forgot it was going to be PIO since Lupr.on just ended last night (goodbye small needle, I will miss you!). Can you believe it??  AND...I did not ice my ass this time!! Thought I would be really, really brave since we start with a small dose first.  Not too bad, but I must say...I do not like feeling the needle going in and out.....just the sensation more than anything. *shivers*   Kinda sore over there...here we go.  I still have a few bumps from last time.

I talked with my Grandma today for awhile about IF.  It still stings when she tells me if it doesn't work out "that it was just meant to be this way" but I just feel like I can't argue with her.  I think this has been her way of dealing with things for years.  She also mentioned (again) how she had no problem getting pregnant (yeah...5 babies!) sigh.  I loved sharing with her today but it makes me realize there is a lot she will never understand.  And in some way, I think I am okay with that.   It is not my mission to make her understand it all, in fact, I will just simply share with her  Because it's always nice to talk with Grandma and she gives really good hugs.

Off to bed. Twinnie and I saw The Help tonight....love you sis..thanks for going to a late night movie.  =0)
Tomorrow my little Edna is being evaluated for Assisted Animal Therapy so she can volunteer with her brother Ernie.  I am actually a little nervous she won't pass since she has never been to formal dog training but she is a well behaved little lady.  She is such a good candidate...so please wish us luck. 

**UPDATE**
   Just got back from the evaluation. Edna passed everything with flying colors however, the evaluator thought she wasn't enjoying it enough to do it as a "job" so for now she didn't pass...she marked needed work.  I completely understand but am a little bummed because I think she would be great.   But everyone else there loved her! She is a little sweetie.

14 Boys

Yup, that's right.  After an exhausting day of screening incoming Kindergartners yesterday and hours of class building here is the final count:

boys 14
girls 10

For my fellow teacher bloggy friends does this not make you want to scream run away vomit? Aside from the fact we all have 24 students this year (last year we were at 22 max) 14 boys just seems like...well a lot!! But all of the K classes are the same boy heavy, just like last year.   Those poor boys will be competing like the animals on Wild America in high school and beyond. 

Yesterday was my first official day of working..at school from 7:30 til 5. I was soooo pooped when I got home. But I ended up going on a Tar.get run with my sister and drove around the surrounding neighborhood to see what houses are out there for sale. Fun and exciting as we have been talking about the possibility of looking into buying a house, house as we have a townhouse after the Halloween season is over. And I figure it isn't too early to see what's out there. =0)

Actually talked with Hubby last night for a good hour about all that is coming up.  I did great, only a few tears which I haven't done much of lately. But it did feel really good to say somethings out loud which have inevitably been floating around in the back of my head. I am still feeling very calm which is sooo weird and not expected since I have freaked out so much over all of my other transfers/what-have-yous. I hope this is my body and mind's way of dealing and getting ready to be a much better home for our little frostie babies arriving next week. Crossing all fingers and toes.

Off to shower so I can run over to the labs and then the clinic for my U/S. Then a late breakfast with my Auntie and off to school before ukulele class this evening. Phew. I guess I will sleep well tonight!

***UPDATE***
  Stopped back home to pick up my meds and ukulele so I will add this.  After (finally) getting through to the clinic to change my incorrect labs in the computer I made my way back and was seen right away. I might mention my favorite procedure nurse saved the day.  According to Dr. my lining is "perfect" at 11! And I seem to already have my transfer time...so it looks like at noon a week from now I will be PUPO!! =0)

The sweetest thing...

Yesterday, I received mail from my principal. Inside was this:

I have mentioned before my principal has a son through IVF herself and this has been the biggest blessing for me.  I have had to miss countless days from school and each time I called in a sub, I never had to worry she thought I was just "calling in" sick or taking a personal day.  She knows what is going on and all the craziness that surrounds it.  I am starting off the year by missing the first two official days of school (taking personal days) for our FET and my first paid day back will be with the kiddos.  She sent me a similar package last year for our first IVF.  How very thoughtful of her and I will very much look forward to this date night!  I just mentioned to Hubby how I already feel like I don't see him/spend time with him and the stores aren't open yet!  This will be very nice indeed and much needed as we get closer to our transfer.

Here's my news...

I made a (most likely) final Disneyl.and trip this week before school begins. This time I went with some of my best gals.  We stayed with my bother in-laws brother (sounds odd right, but we are close friends!) and we all went to DL on Wednesday. Super fun time...and great weather and company!  We returned last night and I did nothing all day. I cleaned a little in the evening and that was all.  Wow..lazy, but it was actually nice.  This weekend and next week will be busy so it was probably the perfect time to be such a bum.

I saw a different acupuncturist on Monday. He was sooooo great!!! He took time to look in my file and ask me questions and I was able to ask him questions as well.  He did a deep pressure massage on my abdomen and it was the oddest (and neatest) feeling to feel the pulse in my belly. I will definitely be scheduling my future appointments with him whenever possible. 

Getting more and more excited about our FET.  I still feel calm and I really do hope this feeling stays.  I am hoping the stress of school beginning and the FET don't turn me a stress ball but we shall see.  I worked hard in my classroom on Monday so I could go down south and my Dad's wife and friend came in to help. Got everything on Monday's to-do list completed except for copying things since the copy room was alarmed. It was amazing. Work in progress still, I'll post some pics when it's ready! I rearranged some things and I am excited about the changes.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!! =0)

eek..a quick update

I have been quite busy since my last post and have been trying to check in with my phone, but don't like typing on it.

Hysteroscopy went well. Doc found a few very small polyps which he removed and I found out great news on Saturday morning...since they were so tiny, we don't have to wait another month to do our FET. So we are all set for the 25th, I am thrilled beyond belief and very relieved.  I didn't want to waste all the meds we have already used and it would be really crummy to have miss 3 days of school with my kiddos for appointments and labs.  Phew.  I was a sob case early Saturday because I was so nervous of what he was going to say.

Here's a funny thing about the hysteroscopy.  I was out completely during the procedure which I was thankful for.  After I woke up I was asking the nurses what the doctor had found.  They didn't know so called him back at the clinic.  Apparently he had already come to talk to me and I had no recollection of it!! So when he called back they wheeled my bed over to the phone.  hehehe...my best friend was laughing and said I was must have been VIP. =0)

Ready!

Okay...off and running to acupuncture and then back to the classroom.  I am making some new arrangements in there....exciting!  Happy Monday!!

Hysteroscopy in just about 12 hours....

I'm a wee bit nervous. Decided it would be best to let hubby go into work early and not take me to the hospital so he can come home early!! My bestie from high school is going to go with me in the morning. yay!

This is silly but true. I'm more grossed out that I do believe AF will be in full force (or close to it!) by 11:30 tomorrow morning. I know it's nothing the doc hasn't seen but ew, gross. I can see his gloves now, blech. Not a pretty picture. I wonder if they usually schedule these things around AF?? I was plopped in.  Hubby says I worry about it too much...I say I'm just thinking about it. ew. ew.  Hope it goes just fine.

Today was a busy, productive day. Dropped off my nieces at school, picked up my classroom key and then volunteered to call the families of incoming Kindergartners since I had nothing better to do today than lab work.  We have screening coming up in about 2.5 weeks and lots of families hadn't signed up since they registered after the school year ended.  It took me almost 3.5 hours to get through the list, but I was able to make lots of appointments and left lots of messages.  It felt great to help out our poor secretary, she's amazing and is super busy!

Off to bed now...nighty night!

Monday, Monday....now Tuesday, Tuesday!

Eeek...hard to believe the first has already come and gone!

Hubby's interview went just as well as mine.  Here was the kicker.....as I was leaving to get my tires rotated, Mrs. S asked if I had a few minutes. Okay....basically to make a long story short we are most likely going to have to slow down our adoption process considerably. ~blah~  Because "they usually like people to wait 6 months after a loss of any kind to proceed with a homestudy"....which I totally get, but of course this is not what we wanted to hear.  Here are the plus sides: 1. She is going to propose to our homestudy agency we only need to wait three months instead of six (because we have given adoption a lot of thought and time). 2. In all reality, fall is a crazy, busy time for both Hubby and I, it might actually be better (although I will still need time to convince myself of this because I know I am perfectly capable of getting all our papers completed and together).  I am worried it could push our adoption back further if our FET doesn't work, but we will cross that bridge when we get there.  Putting all of my eggs back in one basket....which I will admit we probably should have done to begin with, but that's okay too.  I won't regret our decision regardless of what happens.

So.....here's to focusing ALL of my positive energy back on our upcoming FET.  As of this very moment I still feel good about it.  Not too worked up just yet, I hope it stays this way!  I have labs and a urine test tomorrow for my hysteroscopy on Wednesday. Please cross your fingers they don't find anything! Or in some weird way, maybe it would be great if they did find something to explain my unexplained IF!! hmmm, wouldn't that be something!

I went in and helped Hubby down at one of his stores.  Oh my....so many boxes, peg hooks and costumes and this was just the leftovers from last year.  It felt really good to help him out, especially since I won't be able to much once I'm back at school.

Have a great Tuesday! =0)

A nice weekend

Thankful to be off jury duty, Hubby and I slept in...really late after staying up til 2am.  So nice to just cuddle in bed since he's been leaving so early each day.  We were off to San Francisco for the afternoon.  Had lunch at what my friend likes to call Crabby Joe's...yummy...! And walked down to Ghiradelli Square...didn't have ice cream (too full) but window shopped with the street vendors and cute stores.  Picked up my twinnie from her work and drove back home. I was looking forward to this fancy roach coach food event, the second one they have had here in town. Had a yumm-o bowl with tofu, rice and salad.  Shared food back at my house with Hubby, twinnie and her girls.  Fun day! Oh and I got to give my gift to Hubby...I bought him a set of Mah Jongg since he had commented awhile back how it would be fun to learn to play. We don't know how (yet) and we're looking forward to figuring it out. =0)

Today, I looked over and made some lists as suggested by Mrs. S of the remaining papers we need to round up and organize for our adoption.  We have a big ole binder but it was helpful to make another list from it and I love making lists!!! Tomorrow is Hubby's home study interview. I will be getting my tires rotated while he does his. I also have my pre-op consult for Wednesday at 11 but luckily it's over the phone.

I also went to the Lakesh.ore store/outlet and bought some things for my classroom and received my free teacher plan book. Like lists, I love writing in everything in my plan book...dates, lines, calendar.  I began another list of all the things I want to do in my classroom before school begins.  There is always so much and I want to be as stress free as possible towards transfer time. So I figure, the sooner....the better. I will probably go in on Tuesday and see what shape my room is after the summer cleaning.  I am excited about the school year beginning and am hopeful this will be a great year.