Thursday, September 29, 2011

As of Last night I...

am 100% medicine free. I did not have to have a PIO shot.  This is me trying to be positive. Here's the truth.

Yesterday sucked completely.  We had our second u/s and arrived at the clinic at 8:30. The receptionist had a smile on her face as she was walking back to her desk. She said "I'm excited for you!" She asked if this was out first u/s (she wasn't there last week) and I told her no, we had one last week and it didn't go so well. She then said something about how she hopes it goes well today and how much we deserve this. Very sweet. We didn't get into a room until 9:20 ish.  They were pretty busy. Dr. looked and confirmed my worst fear. No yolk sac, no heartbeat = no baby. Blighted ovum. Even after me asking if there was a chance there was something growing very slowly, his answer was pretty much the same. He did say some couples like to go another week on meds but he said it would be false hope.  We talked about a few more things. After he left the room, we just cried for a few minutes and held each other.  I hate seeing my Hubby upset and this is where he stopped talking.

Calmed down enough to meet Dr in his office. He apologized again and explained to us what would be happening next. Stop all meds, even prenatals. Hopefully (I guess that's the right word) I miscarry on my own. Otherwise I need to pick a day where I won't be going anywhere to insert 4 more magic pills up my hoohah to make me miscarry two hours later. Great. I'm already dreading all of it.  He explained how our embryo was "doomed" (no, he didn't say this) from the beginning and was the way it was going to be before it was even frozen. He said its unfortunate how there is not technology to check the embryos before transfer to see how they are.  I'll be going in for another u/s in a few weeks to make sure everything is gone and also do another blood test. Apparently it can take up to five weeks for it to go back down to nothing.  He also asked my Hubby if he was okay since he hadn't said a word, he just nodded.

I wanted to come home and post. I even thought about it last night but my heart just couldn't do it.  After leaving we just came home and cried for a bit more. I asked Hubby in the car if he was mad at me since he wasn't saying anything....which obviously wasn't true. It just felt weird. We actually went to lunch and I even ordered a Coke and an item I haven't had for a long while because of my diet. It didn't taste as good as it should have. Oh well.  I didn't tell any of my family until around noon or so, when I called my Twinnie at work. She cried with me on the phone.  She already knew it was bad news since I hadn't called her earlier. I was surprised she hadn't texted me, but she said she was trying to give us time if we needed it.

The hardest part about yesterday was having to tell my family and close friends. I realize I didn't have to but since they all knew and were wondering.  My Grandma sobbed and sobbed, so hard. I also was asked if I was going to work tomorrow a few times. My response, "I can't afford to sit at home and cry." Although, my principal emailed me back and said I might consider taking a few days off.

Hubby processes things different than me. And in most cases it's a good thing because he helps keep me balanced.  It's hard for me to see him upset and he is most definitely entitled.  He's hurt too and yesterday he was able to stay home with me versus having to go into work.  He did talk about us just trying on our own. I wasn't about to burst his bubble, so I just listened.  He seems to be hopeful that since I was able to get pregnant maybe we can do it now. I don't think I'm on the same page.  Last night he seemed more his usual self and before I went to bed at 10, he told me "We're going to be okay." 

I think I was just starting to feel my hopes go up. I had taken a HPT on Tuesday morning which obviously showed a BFP. I even had the stupid thought that maybe our Dr would tell us we were having twins on the u/s.  How could I have even thought  that??  I knew what my betas were.  The dreams I just started forming about bringing home a newborn have been interrupted.. And the dreams of having a baby between Hubby and I are pretty much a lost hope, at least for me and at least for now. But I also know we will be a family someday.

I looked up blighted ovum on the internet since I needed to. Now it seems like I wasn't really truly "pregnant" since technically I was probably already as far as I would get a few days after transfer.  So all those times I told Hubby "I can't believe there's a baby in there" it was actually true.  My heart is so hurt and I know this will be difficult.  But "I can do hard things" and this might be one of the hardest things yet.

Sorry for the long post. I woke up from weird dream at four and decided I needed to do this. Today is going to be a hellish day. Please let my kiddos be kind to me and please let me be patient enough to not blow up or fall apart.

Monday, September 26, 2011

I'm not missing...

I'm still here and keeping up with your blogs.

Life is keeping me busy and technology can bite my PIO'd ass (sometimes anyways!) Here are my excuses for not posting and sucking at ICLW:
~Migraine #2...what am I going to do?!? I take prescription meds and I have had two in two weeks. I seriously jinxed myself by telling someone I hadn't had one this whole last cycle. boo.
~still have a house guest (and may have one for a bit longer, so time spent with her)
~laptop would not let me post....too tired to go into the other room to use the PC
~I can comment on blogs but cannot post from my phone
~I was out of the house all weekend...a very good thing. =0)

So there you have it. But honestly, I don't have a lot to say.  I'm trying to not worry for Wednesday's appointment. But will need to do sub plans tomorrow.  I had an acupuncture session today and I will call my Dr. after our appointment to let him knows what's going on.  The acupuncturist that did my needles today said my pulse was okay and to just wait to hear what my Dr. says on Wednesday. So of course my mind worried about her comment for a few minutes and then I dropped it. No point right?

Tonight my goal is to get through my tub of fun (ugh...way too much school work for a Monday night) and do some ICLW commenting.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Beta Update

So I got some good news today. Phew.....taking a deep breath.  Thank you all for your supportive comments, I really appreciated reading them this morning. Dr called my hubby and hubby came by school to tell me. I was in a meeting (after school) so he just whispered it to me. Beta today was 7300 so our Dr was fine with those numbers with what he saw (or didn't see yesterday). He said the baby is late but it wasn't uncommon or rare.

I will go in for an u/s next week. I need to touch base with my principal since my Dr is on vacation and is only in the clinic for transfers so it will either be Monday or Wednesday morning.  I feel better knowing our numbers are okay and in the meantime I will wait for next week to roll around.

I had three meetings after school today. I was very thankful the last one ended a half hour early.  I came home and passed out on the couch for an hour. 

Hugs to all of you!! Your support means so much to me. oxo

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Utrasound

I was really nervous leading up and going into the u/s. And now I guess I had reason to be. :0(

My Dr. started with handshakes and by explaining what we should see and so we began.  He also told us where we were at, 6 weeks 3 days, farther than we have ever (ever!) been.  He didn't turn the screen right away and I wondered. 

So I have a pregnancy sac but he wasn't able to find a yolk sac or a heartbeat.  I tried really hard to not burst into tears on the table. He looked and looked and magnified but there didn't seem to be anything there. He did say he hopes there was something hiding up in the corner he was just unable to see today. But I am measuring small....sac was 6mm.....he said the baby itself should be 6mm.  And the pregnancy sac should be about three times what it was. However, he also said he has seen IVF patients who have embryos that start late....let's hope this is just a late bloomer. Have any of you heard or gone through the same kind of thing?

Off to the lab we went for another beta. We will find out tomorrow what the numbers look like.  Hoping they are in the thousands and we can go for another u/s next week. Otherwise it doesn't sound so promising. 

I'm also a little frustrated because Hubby is trying to remain positive and basically told me to stop worrying as we were walking to the car from the clinic.  Needless to say it really pissed me off.  I understand what he's trying to do for me and it took all in my to yell at him that I have every right to cry!!!!!  It's more or less fine now.  I'm done with the crying until bed I am sure.

I came home, went to my room, cried and passed out. I am so tired and so frustrated.  Why does IF have to suck so much and be so damn difficult? Again, trying not to over think anything.

Tomorrow will be fun as I have three meetings after school. One I have to do (volunteer meeting for our parents at school) and then I can run and check my phone for messages. Depending on what I hear I may skip out on the other two. We shall see.

Before we went in I was thinking about the picture I would get to take home today.  I actually saw a patient leave the clinic with two in her hand.  I will hope and dream tonight that I can take home mine next week.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Catching up!!

I have been super busy since my last post... eeek!  We had back to school night on Wednesday, so my week prior to that was spent getting ready for BTSN.  And I have had a house guest since Thursday night.  Saturday morning I went to a local parade with my bestie, her hubby and their daughter.  It was nice, very low key and pretty long. We didn't stay for the whole thing but enjoyed ourselves. We also learned we need to be on the main street since the bands were done playing when they got to us!  Later that evening, I went to Carmel with some friends and spent the night at a friend's house. We went to the beach on Sunday morning for a bit and just enjoyed the sun and the beautiful weather!  Yesterday, hubby and I went to my cousin's house for dinner and were able to visit and see their new home. It was a nice weekend.

So here is my most recent exciting news...as of today, I am predni.sone free!!!!!!!!!!!!  Unfortunately, my face seems to be very swollen and puffy (much to my disgrace this past Thursday, picture day!) but I am thankful that perhaps it was my key to actually getting pregnant.  I just Dr. Googled it again and saw that easy bruising is another side effect.  hmm...I have lots of bruises right now and in the past few weeks.  That could explain it.  I also just realized that my rosac.ia has some little bumps on it...maybe it's from the puffyness? Any of you ladies have the same issue with pred?

I am so, so thrilled that we are actually pregnant.  It still seems so surreal but I am hoping I will feel better after our u/s tomorrow.  I am nervous and so afraid of what could happen. But I am trying to NOT think about that and just relax a bit and just focus on being excited about it instead of nervous. (Not sure how well that will work!..trying!) Still doing acupuncture and paid for 10 more sessions, since they give you a bit of a break if you do (buy 10, get 1 free) so it breaks it down to about $61.50 a session instead of $67.50.  I took another HPT on Wednesday night and made Hubby stand there and watch it change.  It's so magical....to actually see it change. So freakin cool.  I have one more, not sure when I will do it. I am excited to hear what our next steps are going to be. 

PIO shots are beginning to suck more and more.  I feel like we are running out of non-sore spots and once the needle goes in it feels as though all my muscle is bruised in there.  But, since we inject so slowly, I have hardly any lumps! It's just sore, which is to be expected.

Went into one of Hubby's stores this weekend.  It looked fantastic and very spooky since the lights aren't too bright inside.  I was being introduced around and one of the girls looks at me and says.."Oh yeah, congratulations on the baby!"  She totally caught me off guard since no one is supposed to know (thank you manager for opening your yap to apparently everyone in the store!!!) and I managed to mutter a thank you. I was so pissed!! I really don't want perfect strangers (at least to me..) knowing right now. I mean come on!! I told Hubby and asked him to talk to the manager (who has already bought us our first baby gifts...very sweet of her, she knew we have been doing IVF) and she said she didn't realize she shouldn't say anything. hmmm, I kinda thought it was common knowledge to wait awhile. guess not. But at least I can laugh at it, since my face probably projected the look of not being very happy.  I wonder if she thinks this pregnancy was an accident. HAH!!

I am feeling pretty much as normal as can be.  I am tired but I can't tell if it's just from being busy with work and life or from the pregnancy. Maybe both, who knows.  I don't feel sick or anything yet, which I am thankful for as well.  My twinnie had easy pregnancies, but since our bodies are obviously not the same when it comes to baby making, we shall see!  My boobs are the only thing that is a real symptom for me....yikes. Very full and quite bodacious...ooh la la. I have to wear a bra or sports bra all the time.  My hands and feet seems to not be as hot anymore...although last week I was hanging onto table legs or anything else cool on Monday during library. We are having an indian summer here this week, although the grocery clerk told me it's supposed to rain next week.

Off to catch up on your blogs!!! Goodnight!!!


Monday, September 12, 2011

552!

And the numbers go up and I am feeling really good about it!!! No more lab work for a bit I guess. Not sure of the next one so I guess I will hear more at our u/s next week!! Most likely I will email my nurse just to double check and see. She left me a message today and I saw no reason to call her back.  

My sweet friend bought me a "congrats on baby" gift....a garnet Mickey head necklace. So very sweet of her.  So I currently am wearing it along with my "I can do hard things" necklace which has honestly gotten me through a lot these last few months.  What a very nice thing. I am so lucky to have such supportive friends.

My bff called me this morning at 7 am and I was all done with my blood draw ( I got to the lab a little after 6:30 and basically walked in..apparently it isn't usually so quiet and I beat the rush).  It was nice to chat with her for a bit on her way to school and while I was in line for a blueberry bagel. yumm-o.

Today was a long day but I am very happy with the news.  Off to enjoy some time with my nieces.  Since they were in Disne.yland this weekend I have missed them so.

Thinking..

I have a lot on my mind right now....

Beta #3 tomorrow morning.  Thinking I should be in bed but my mind is keeping me up. I found out the lab near my school opens at 6:30 am so if I leave a little before 6 (ugh!!!) I can get there and make it to school on time (by 7:30). They run the IVF stat labs there, so it works out.  Hubby and I had a moment at dinner tonight of shared excitement and happiness.  I still can't believe it's real.  I have our first ultrasound scheduled for the 20th.  I will be so glad when that day comes.  I have read this before...the waiting doesn't end! oh my!

I have not turned on our television in ions. I was tempted to this weekend after hearing my friend's talk about some of the coverage for 9/11. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  The sadness of that day will never be forgotten.  It doesn't seem that long ago I overheard the woman on the train saying how (we college kids) "don't even realize what has happened" as we rode to school. Later to be dismissed.   The loss of a classmate/ softball teammate, Nicole Miller, brought the reality so much closer to home.  She died heroically that day with so many others on Flight 93. So, so sad. I remember working at the museum and the display they put up soon after showing some children's artwork...their perspective. How I remember crying, especially the ones displayed in the staff wing where children had depicted people jumping from buildings.  I hope our world can someday come to a peaceful resolution...where nothing like this would happen again. My heart goes out to those who have lost their loved ones and thinking of those who protect us as we sleep.

On a happier note...I went to a concert last night...saw the Fleet Foxes. Have you heard of them? Amazing. I am brand new to them as I was invited to go to the concert without knowing anything about them. Saw a flier for Beirut...coming in October. Might try to go to that one too.


Thursday, September 8, 2011

119!

That was our beta results this evening.  I cried huge crocodile happy tears.  I am so thrilled and overjoyed but I am truly having a hard time with this. WTH??!! I feel scared and nervous and I am hoping now that we have had a good second beta I can let this soak in.  I have more nervous feelings than excited right now and it seems backwards doesn't it?  I was offered another round of tests on Monday and happily took them.  And tomorrow I can call and set up my first ultrasound. whee! Oh my...I can't believe it!  Starting tomorrow my Prednis.one dose will decrease and I will be done with that in about a week and a half.

Oh and I realized I typed the wrong amount of time yesterday...it took 3.5 years for us to get here...not 4.5...we've only been married for 5!  So I changed that.

So glad tomorrow is Friday. Although, I did find out late yesterday that I have a meeting from 3:30-5:50...ugh..on a Friday?! Blah. But it's for a new teacher induction program and I am mentor to a great new teacher on our team. She's so great!  I am tired though and at an audit meeting today, I completely blanked on my address and wrote 40249 (my sister's)....mine is 2469. Luckily, I had to bring tax forms and it had our address on the envelope.

Let's end on this random note from today:
  I was demonstrating to my class about holding hands for dancing.  I held one of my student's hands and he immediately started smelling my hand! Guess he likes my perfume!! Sweet little guy too. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Some More Good News!

If this is the way things are going to start acting around here...I may as well go buy my lottery ticket now!  Called over to the clinic today (and once I finally got through) I found out my IF meds are now covered by the basic infertility services. So that means I got refills on all my goods for a grand total of $182.05!!!!!  I was so surprised....it never occurred to me that would change. Well, hooray!!

I went to acupuncture again today and was greeted as "Hello, pregnant lady!" by the receptionist who is super sweet anyways.  But I have to say it made me giddy and I even clapped my hands and jumped up and down once or twice (I know really...I think I need to reevaluate my age). But I think I am entitled to feel this way.  ;0P

I am nervous for tomorrow but am hoping that everything goes well.  I am off to bed soon and if I can get my butt out of bed early enough to get to the labs by 6:30 am I will go to the lab in the morning. On Tuesday, my Dad's wife opened my room, but as she is on a cruise to Alaska right now that won't really work! I was there early on Tuesday and was #9 and was out of there by 7:30 but that's what time I need to be at school. So most likely, I am going after my kids are dismissed and will just have to hope the lab near my school will follow the Stat/Local lab testing directions.  My clinic says I can call around 3 or so if I haven't heard anything.  I am anxious to hear what our next steps are.

I am hoping tomorrow goes well and I can really start letting this all sink in.  It's crazy how I/we have wished and fought for this so hard for 3.5 years and now it has finally happened and I can't believe it really is.  Oh, the irony.  Hubby even said yesterday, how he keeps having these big thoughts but we are trying not to get too ahead of ourselves.  One day at a time!!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Results are In....

and it says we are PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can't even believe I am typing this right now!!!!  I didn't find out until Hubby called my classroom while in the meantime, I was already in tears from his text which I interpreted as bad news.  Whoops.  I had texted to ask if our nurse had called him but said not to say anything either way and he replied back "yes, we can talk now or at home."  So of course I go into Negative Nancy mode and broke down into tears. My dear teacher friend next door was comforting me and crying right with me. Hubby didn't call back for like (forever!!) 15 minutes and I texted to say I was already crying. And when I answered the phone he says.."I hope you're not still crying...it's not good for the baby!" ??????!!!?!?!?!?!?!?  And I just broke down.  And the rest of my day has been crazy. I stayed at school til 3:30 and then met Hubby at home since he left work early.  Got to call my parents and my Grandma. That was really hard, I don't think I have heard her sob like that since my Grandpa passed away.  She was really happy and it made me so happy to hear that...but it made me cry so hard!  Went to dinner with my MIL to celebrate today because as Hubby says, we deserve it.

So I will do more labs on Thursday.  Our beta was 60.  I haven't talked to our nurse yet but I worry a little about this. Apparently it's okay.  I am crossing all fingers and toes that this number magically doubles by Thursday.

I am amazed and in a lot of shock and disbelief.  Wow! I have never had this feeling.  Oh and I spent $7 at the store so I could look at my two pink lines.  Best money I have spent in a long time!!

Monday, September 5, 2011

Keeping Busy...

I had a great time with friends and family yesterday.  My besties came up for a bbq and my sis and her family joined too.  Snacks, bbq and Hand and Foot. Lots of talking and two of my girls spent the night. So fun!
They just left and now I am on my way to Muir Woods with my sis's family to go explore. I've never been there and they say it's beautiful. I'm looking forward to it.

The last two nights have been kinda rough.  Crying and fear of what could be coming tomorrow.  I hate feeling like this but I know it's a possibility.  I also know that one of our little babies may have decided it's okay to stick around and that's what I'm wishing on today.  Please let our last chance with IVF work.  Please let us have a miracle baby.  That is all I wish for today and tonight. 

Hoping you are enjoying Labor Day with your loved ones.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Hubby's job

Hubby's stores opened up on Friday.  My Hubby and his dad run consignment stores for Spi.rit Hall.oween every year.  They have been doing them for a long time now. Let's see, the first store was opened when we were just dating. So it's been awhile!! Probably 8 or 9 years. So beginning in July, Hubby and Pop start setting up the stores. During the months prior to, they are looking for locations here and there and filing papers.  Then the stores are set up, merchandise arrive and the stores are all set to go.  He has worked everyday non-stop since July 19th or whenever it was he came back from the yearly consignment meeting in New Jersey. He did have 3 days off, one for our anniversary, one for our transfer and then a random Sunday last week.  Hubby works the stores (he runs 2 of the 4 this year) and works really hard.  Since the store he is in the most this year is down in Seaside (1.5 hours from our house) he has quite a long day. So Halloween comes, they have a half off day after sale, then it's time to pack up and take down the stores, file more papers and some other random jobs and that's pretty much it.  So they are usually done with everything (minus peg hook sorting!) by mid to end of November. 

I have a love/hate relationship with Hubby's job but as of the last few years I have learned to love it more.  For a long time it was because I felt like it wasn't really a career. He graduated from college with a degree in Justice Studies...original goal...police work.  I was embarrassed when people would ask me what he did.  Basically, because people would want to know what he did in his off season time. For a few years, he would just get a job, like as a tech support guy. But the last few years, he hasn't needed too.  Although I still felt at times, he should have. I mean the extra money wouldn't have hurt anything and hell, it may have even helped pay for some of the IF stuff.  And to be honest when I have worked my ass off all day and I come home and he's playing video games I can be a little steamed.  Not to say Hubby doesn't do anything around here, because believe me he does a lot!! I always says it's his saving grace, if he didn't do anything this wouldn't work out.  He does laundry and cleaning and pet care and shopping and everything (not really bathrooms though..hmm). Hubby is much cleaner than I am and because of him our house stays clean.

I love his job because I see a lot of him.  I mean from mid November on he's home pretty much all the time. We run errands together and have a lot of down time with each other compared to other working couples. And best of all, Hubby is always willing to come in and help in my classroom.  And when I mean help, I mean most of the time, we drive together and leave together. Which means I basically have an aide in my room.  He runs copies for me (and my grade level team!!), hangs things up, cleans my back office (told you he was cleaner than me!) and is GREAT with the kids. And they love him. I can hear them outside telling their friends he's here if they see him through the window before school starts.  I like to think that for some of my kids, he is a great male role model. He can be playful and funny with them, but he isn't afraid to correct or discipline either.  Having an extra set of eyes is great!

And I think the biggest plus for his career is that we have an ideal childcare situation.  If only would could get the child factor into the equation! But we are working on that and I know we will get there eventually.  It's great...who else would I trust with my kids more than me?! And since my father in law is retiring from the stores this year, he will watch the little ones while the stores are open. Our situation couldn't be more perfect.

Hoping this Halloween proves to be another successful year.  If you happen to know anyone who lives near Gilroy, Salinas, Seaside or Capitola please send them to Spi.rit Hallo.ween to help support my family.  We would greatly appreciate it.  I always tell people, if they want to go experience a clean store go to a consignment owned one.  There isn't going to be a bunch of merchandise spewed all over the floor like the corporate ones. There is quite a difference I tell you! Thanks for reading. =0)

Just a few more days....

Labor Day weekend....three days to relax normally.  I am relaxing but my brain in making it tricky too.  Good thing I have a friend on the way and have kept sort of busy today. I did sleep in a bit and was generally very lazy this morning. 

My classroom is all ready for Tuesday.  My plan is to get up early and get to the lab so I can be one of the lucky people to get in relatively quick for my beta.  Then head back over to school.  In the meantime, my Dad's wife (retired K and first teacher) will go to my room and get everything ready for the kids outside.  Hopefully, I will be there before 8 when the school day begins.  My "stepmom" (funny, I really only refer her to that at school with the kids) is all set up to be a sub in our district so it works out.  Ahhh. 

Just got off the phone with Wal.greens to order 5 more pills of Estra.diol and 14 more Predni.sone.  I don't want to have to pay for more than I would need to and figure I will happily go refill whatever prescriptions I need when I hear some great news!! Of course I usually am complaining about all the leftover meds, but since we are testing later I am running out Monday night or morning.

Last night I had some really gnarly AF cramps around 2am.  And my PIO injections have been pretty rough the last two nights. I think my poor butt is just bruised all over inside....can't really do too much about it.  But I am so grateful that most have them have been so much better.  That 1.5" needle sucks being in there for 3 minutes, but it doesn't feel like it's ripping into my muscle.

Tomorrow some of my besties are coming over and we are going to BBQ and play games like Hand and Foot.  Such a fun card game!  I really want to learn to play Mah Jong which was my anniversary gift to Hubby.  Maybe we will try it out. Who knows what else we will do but we always have a good time.  My sister and her family might join us but I'm not sure yet if they are coming.

My teammate/friend (on the mend perhaps??) was induced last night.  Guess the baby was measuring really small and they wanted to induce her Wednesday.  So wishing her luck.  I actually talked with her the other day and told her how I had thought of her over the summer. She actually said she thought of calling me to have lunch.  I don't know, still awkward, but getting better.  Her life is going to be so different now.  But I still hope we can solve this stupid fight.  I told her I didn't hate her for being pregnant. It's not her fault I can't get pregnant.  Wishing her all the best.

Have a great weekend...hope you all get a three day one!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Trying not to think........

...but it's not really working out so hot.  I am fine all day at school. I don't have a second for it to cross my mind. Then I drive home and sit in my commute (especially the last two days...leaving work during rush hour...not smart) and think and think.  I am trying not to read into anything but I feel like maybe things are a little different. And damn it...I hope they are!!! But I also know that although I am really trying to be positive, I have a very deep fear that this FET didn't work and that's it for us on the IF treatment front. But I know, somehow, somewhere we will be parents. And we will be awesome!

Okay...can I tell you more of what I am feeling? Crampy again on and off, boobs sore (always are and totally not surprised), still have hot hands and feet, I ate a ton of food today because I felt so hungry at certain points (please let this not be the medicine) and I am feeling thirsty at times, too.  I am only associating being tired from surviving the first three days of Kindergarten.  I knew I was going to be dead by Wednesday....I have never started teaching on a Monday. Always a Wednesday or Thursday!  Last night I passed out on the couch.....my dear, sweet Hubby even made my second batch of play dough. Isn't he awesome?!

I have asked Hubby about how he's feeling.  He says he wants to know just as bad as I do. Really wishing there wasn't a holiday this weekend! Oh and my principal is letting me sneak in on Tuesday after my beta without calling in a sub. My dad's wife is a sub in our district (and retired K/1 teacher!) and since I am pretty sure I can make it by 8 she said it would be okay for her to open my room and start the day if needed. Hooray for not having to use another personal day!

News in the classroom.....now down to 22 kiddos....14 boys, 8 girls. We added a fifth Kinder today. I am so amazed at how well these kiddos are doing. I am loving my class so far and it is so rewarding to see how they are already learning some of the routines after 3 days!! whoo hoo!

Believe it or not, this is the latest I have been up all week.  In bed/passed out on the couch around 10 each night....that is a miracle in itself.  I've decided my goal this year is to "try" to break my bad habit of night owl teacher. Not a good combo, but I survive.  I've been getting up with my alarm and so far so good.

Goodnight!!! =0)