Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Utrasound

I was really nervous leading up and going into the u/s. And now I guess I had reason to be. :0(

My Dr. started with handshakes and by explaining what we should see and so we began.  He also told us where we were at, 6 weeks 3 days, farther than we have ever (ever!) been.  He didn't turn the screen right away and I wondered. 

So I have a pregnancy sac but he wasn't able to find a yolk sac or a heartbeat.  I tried really hard to not burst into tears on the table. He looked and looked and magnified but there didn't seem to be anything there. He did say he hopes there was something hiding up in the corner he was just unable to see today. But I am measuring small....sac was 6mm.....he said the baby itself should be 6mm.  And the pregnancy sac should be about three times what it was. However, he also said he has seen IVF patients who have embryos that start late....let's hope this is just a late bloomer. Have any of you heard or gone through the same kind of thing?

Off to the lab we went for another beta. We will find out tomorrow what the numbers look like.  Hoping they are in the thousands and we can go for another u/s next week. Otherwise it doesn't sound so promising. 

I'm also a little frustrated because Hubby is trying to remain positive and basically told me to stop worrying as we were walking to the car from the clinic.  Needless to say it really pissed me off.  I understand what he's trying to do for me and it took all in my to yell at him that I have every right to cry!!!!!  It's more or less fine now.  I'm done with the crying until bed I am sure.

I came home, went to my room, cried and passed out. I am so tired and so frustrated.  Why does IF have to suck so much and be so damn difficult? Again, trying not to over think anything.

Tomorrow will be fun as I have three meetings after school. One I have to do (volunteer meeting for our parents at school) and then I can run and check my phone for messages. Depending on what I hear I may skip out on the other two. We shall see.

Before we went in I was thinking about the picture I would get to take home today.  I actually saw a patient leave the clinic with two in her hand.  I will hope and dream tonight that I can take home mine next week.

13 comments:

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  2. Hugs- hang in there! I hope things turn out ok.

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  3. Oh, I wish it was better news for you. I'm thinking about you guys and will be praying your voicemail is a good one. Fingers crossed and hugs for a late bloomer.

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  4. I'm sorry Kelli. I know this isn't what you were hoping to see yesterday, but I'm praying that today will bring more hopeful news. Thinking of you today as you wait.

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  5. thinking of you and hoping for the best.... xoxo

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  6. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, Kelli. Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best.

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  7. I'm thinking about you Kelli - You have every right to be disappointed, but hold on to hope and know that things can turn around. Hope the beta numbers look good.

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  8. Stopping by from ICLWland and wishing you lots of luck! Sending vibes for a late bloomer!

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  9. I'm so sorry you're going through this :(

    With my daughter an early US at 6 weeks didn't have a heartbeat, but was ok at the 7 week 5 day ultrasound. I hope that is the case with your little bean. Thinking of you!

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  10. here from ICLW - I'm so sorry! I know exactly how you feel. Uncertainty is always terrible, but here's hoping the doc is right and the embie is just a slow started! Wishing you all of the luck in the world. Hang in there!

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  11. U poor thing. Hang in there until tomorrow. Thinking of u.

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  12. I have been thinking of you ALL day...I'm so sorry. I'm praying your lil bean has just started a lil slow. Thinking of you and hoping your beta is still nice and strong. Sending lots of love your way.

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  13. Hi Kelli! Thanks for visiting my blog :)

    I have a good friend who is currently pregnant with her second child (she's about 12 weeks along now). At 6 weeks she had some bleeding and went to the ER for an ultrasound, and was told there was a gestational sac but nothing else. She was devastated but unsure, and went to her regular doctor the next day... who found a baby, perfectly fine and healthy with a strong heartbeat. The doctor the day before just hadn't found the right angle to identify the little guy/gal, who was hiding a bit. And either way... 6 weeks is still really early, the earliest you can find a heartbeat or fetal pole. Ultrasounds are good, but not perfect, and if your beta numbers are good like they seem to be in your more recent post, then something good is happening in there :)

    And I know none of that helps with the worry. My first beta was at 11dpo on a Friday because I got a BFP at home the day before, and the nurse assumed it was my scheduled 14dpo blood draw, so when my numbers came back at 43.1, she said they were "a little low because we like them to be at least 50 by this point." And then I couldn't get a new beta drawn because it was a long weekend-- I had to sit on that for four days before finding out my numbers were fine, and actually quadrupled by Tuesday! And yeah, now we're having twins. :)

    My fingers will be crossed for you!

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