Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Sad News


Got the call at 11:30 this morning. Our FET didn't work.  I'm soooo disappointed but at the same time I feel like I knew it was coming. Or maybe it's just that since we've never had a BFP  I'm becoming numb to it all.  I feel more angry at the moment than anything. Why didn't it work? Why can't it be our turn? What the hell is wrong with my body?????? My heart hurts.

Right now I have little hope for our last three embryos since they are the bottom of our barrel.  I know I shouldn't say that but it's the complete truth. I am also unsure if I actually want to pursue another transfer.  This feeling came out today and surprised me. I was so elated when I found out we had another chance. And now I'm so drained, emotionally and physically, I don't know what I want. ... and I'm not even working right now! Our next one would be around August right at the beginning of my stressful time..the start of another school year. We will have to see what thoughts the next month brings.  I am hoping to meet with our RE before the end of the month. Maybe he has some answers.....

Just as planned we did take one step closer to our adoption. We went and had our fingerprinting done. It actually helped me feel a little better. 

xoxo, Kelli
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6 comments:

  1. E and RJune 30, 2011 at 7:17 AM

    Oh Kelli, I am so very sorry to read this. I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better, so please just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!

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  2. CoriJune 30, 2011 at 7:50 AM

    Oh Kelli... I'm so sad. I am truly sorry and I know that none of us can say anything that will take the pain away but just know we are all here thinking of you and sending out love! Huge Hugs!

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  3. KristaJune 30, 2011 at 8:01 AM

    I'm so terribly sory to hear this, Kelli...my cycle buddy. I know exactly how you are feeling right now as I'm pretty sure our second transfer was a bust too. The hardest part for me is just the "why?" What is wrong with my body? What is wrong with me? I hate not having any answers when everything points in the direction of...this should have worked.
    I didn't realize you guys were persuing adoption...how cool! I know that you figure out in your heart what is right for you! Sending lots of hugs

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  4. KelliJune 30, 2011 at 10:29 AM

    Thanks!! Krista I am hoping your transfer turns out much better than mine!! =0)

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  5. SarahJune 30, 2011 at 12:07 PM

    I am so sorry to hear it didn't work. I know exactly how you feel. It is all so heartbreaking. I am happy for you that you have the last three embryos, and that you have the ball rolling for adoption. One way or another, soon you will be the Mama you are meant to be.

    xoxo

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  6. waiting and wishingJune 30, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    Oh Kelli, I am so sorry to hear that it wasn't the news you were hoping for. Thinking of you.

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